John Barnes becomes the new scout of...?
Sunderland. Yes, the perenial Premier League underachievers have snapped up the services of the 'manager extraordinaire' to conduct 'scouting and coaching clinics in seven Caribbean countries' according to the publishing might of the Shields Gazette.
Presumably the man Brazil wishes was one of their own, had failed to receive myriad offers of Nuts photoshoots, presenting roles and obscure ad jobs since his failure on 'Strictly Come Dancing', and decided to head back into the gloomy world of football.
You can imagine the conversation with his agent, can't you:
"John, it's your agent, look we've had a letter offering you some work. I know you've been waiting for something good since that silly jiggly-wiggly show you were on, and I've got just the thing."
"Awwwbrilliantwhazthajobi'dbereallyinterested?"
"Sorry John? Never mind, it's with Sunderland and they want you to scout for them. Do you fancy it?"
"Nowaynowaymanamanaaaanotunlesstheresmillionsofsambaladies
formetodancewith, then no.'
"Amazingly John, it's based in the Caribbe...."
"Whenstheflightandcanidanceontheplane?"
I can quite imagine that he's the only person on the whole of the Sunderland staff who's delighted with the location of his work. Not that I'm jealous in any single way whatsoever.
[pic: getty]
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