It's Monday and that means only one thing. It's time to run you through how many defeats our poor loanees had to endure this week.
I'm not saying any of them are directly to blame but it's been a tough few weeks for our lent out stars. Bet they can't wait to come back. Or, in the case of Robbie Threlfall, get released.
Anyway, this weekend some of the worst luck found it's way across to poor Anthony Le Tallec all the way down in France. The midfielder played a full 90 minutes but could do little to prevent Le Mans crashing 4-1 at St Etienne. Pascal Feindouno, who Rafael Benitez was rumoured to be watching earlier in the season, scored for the hosts.
Despite the defeat Le Mans remain ninth in Ligue 1. St Etienne accelerate into seventh.
The Premier League fixtures meanwhile saw Scott Carson and Danny Guthrie go head to head, but it was most definitely the goalkeeper's day. Aston Villa scored four with Bolton, a team wobbling like Michelle McManus on a pogo stick, unable to reply.
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Last Thursday saw Fernando Torres turn 24 and to mark the occasion we asked Pies readers to come up with a short poem or limerick about the Liverpool goalscoring hero.
Having read through all the entries we, the powers that be, decided that this little ditty from Doug Harris was the best:
Defences he'll easily slay,
Twisting and turning all day.
With a flick of his cape
A bullfighter's escape
It's one more in the net and - olé!
If you’ve enjoyed feasting on Liverpool Pies then you’ll love whoateallthepies.tv, the best source of football news, views and gossip in the blogosphere!
If you’ve enjoyed feasting on Liverpool Pies then you’ll love whoateallthepies.tv, the best source of football news, views and gossip in the blogosphere!
Super striker Fernando Torres turns 24 today, so to celebrate we thought we'd have a little competition.
All you have to do is write a short poem or limerick about El Nino and post it using the comment button below.
We'll read through all the entries and pick a winner later in the week.
As ever, there's no prize but pride for the winner. However, we do promise to put your name in the headline - an honour that's certain to bring instant newsnow fame.
Here's ours to kick you off:
We bought a young lad from Madrid,
Whose nickname in Spanish was 'Kid'
His touch is sublime,
He scores all the time,
Twenty one million quid. Cher-ching!
[Image: Getty]
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19 March 1995 - Jamie Redknapp and Robbie Fowler scream with delight after Redknapp secures a 2-0 win against Manchester United at Anfield. An own goal from Steve Bruce had earlier given the hosts the lead.
Know what? I loved that kit.
[Image: Getty/Allsports]
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Welcome to the Liverpool Pies Fourth Place Predictor.
The concept is fairly simple. Below are all Liverpool's remaining fixtures, as well as Everton's and Aston Villa's, and we've had a go at guessing how the Premier League table will end up reading come May.
We may have been a little optimistic but our original results, which can still be seen below, suggested Liverpool would walk it, with Martin O'Neill's Villa just nudging the Toffees into fifth.
It's been so far so good for Liverpool after we correctly predicted wins over West Ham, Newcastle and Reading, but Villa's draw against Middlesbrough and defeat at Portsmouth means our predictions for the remaining games would now put Everton one point above the Midlanders come the end of the campaign.
To make your predictions all you have to do is copy and paste our answers into a comment box, replace our forecasted results with your own and then do the simple maths. We've even given you each team's respective goal difference just in case that's what it comes down to.
It's only a bit of fun so why not give it a go? If nothing else it could put your mind at rest.
Then again, it could have you crying into your cereal...
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With no decent football on television yesterday my chums and I found ourselves debating the following question:
If there was a Premier League Royal Rumble, WWE style, who would win?
The first names on our list were William Gallas and Emmanuel Pogatetz - almost certainly a result of that mo-hawk and the fact Arsenal Middlesbrough were playing on the box in the corner.
As we dug deeper though the list expanded at some rate. Half the Portsmouth squad made it in, although there was little doubting that Papa Bouba Diop would be the ring leader.
Papa and co were soon joined by the likes of Robbie Savage (a battler), Richard Dunne (agressive pest), Christopher Samba (man mountain), El Hadji Diouf (streetwise spitter) and Darren Moore (the proverbial brick shithouse), while Roy Keane was deemed to be the representive of the managers. Him or Roy Hodgson.
It was also decided that Liverpool's current squad would not stand much of a chance.
As much as I now adore him, Nando would be first out of the ring, quickly followed by Dirk Kuyt and Yossi Benayoun.
Ryan Babel and Jermaine Pennant seem streetwise enough to survive a few rounds, and, of course, Javier Mascherano would cause havoc until being hoisted up and thrown away by Samba and Moore in the latter stages.
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